The Sea View

Like a lot of people, a massive dream of mine is to live by the sea. I find the sea so healing, the whole sensory experience just calms my frantic mind. But what happens after you’ve lived by the sea for a while?

You take it for granted, very quickly. It becomes the norm, it’s what you see every day and you stop looking. And this doesn’t apply to the sea, it’s anything that becomes part of our everyday environment; nature, relationships, friends, family, we stop looking and appreciating. We take these things for granted.

I was having a moan a while ago to my friend about spending time with my parents because there was something I’d rather be doing. I see them at least twice a week and speak, mostly by text, every day. His entire family live in another country, he only gets to see them twice a year. He was rather abrupt and told me to stop it, there was nothing he’d rather be doing than spending time with his parents at the weekend, especially as there had been some hardship and ill health in the family recently. It really made me think. We take our every day lives for granted.

We need to slow down, even just for a few minutes, appreciate the view, the sea, the park, the fields, the sky, the home cooked meal, the text asking if you’re ok, the coffee date, the hug waiting at the end of a long day. We need to enjoy our time, especially with the ones we love because tomorrow is not promised.

Last week was a particularly bad week for me, I was irrational and incredibly moody. I set goals which, with the best will in the world were unachievable. I set myself up to fail. After an epic outburst on Thursday (and Friday) I’m emotionally empty. Time to sit back and appreciate the view, recharge and find the positives in my new life. The last 6 weeks have been the hardest in my life and I know that I haven’t given myself enough time to heal, make sense of what has happened and allow the grief to happen. I am learning so much about mental health and about myself.

I have a sea view waiting, I have a holiday booked for August, a house which over looks the sea. I am going to breathe that view in for every second of the week that I am there knowing that it is temporary and the it is part of my recovery process.

But for this week, I’m going to stop being so hard on myself and take each day as it happens and put my own needs first.

H xx

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